Internet. People. Friends. I have a problem. You guys have to help me.
It’s–it’s my feet. Okay? I said it. It’s my feet.
My feet are fucking disgusting. I swear less on the internet than I do in real life, so let me say that again, just for emphasis: my feet are fucking disgusting.
It’s not like they’re unclean or fungal or anything, but they’re dry.
Dry like sandpaper dry. Dry like I could probably use them to depill my sweaters, only I think that they would actually shred the sweaters, and also I don’t know where any of my sweaters are because I was rearranging our clothes and I put all the winter clothes in somewhere sensible and out of the way, only now it’s autumn and I’m not sure where sensible and out of the way is, and this paragraph has gone horribly off track.
My feet. Guys. My feet. They’re so dry that should I decide to pick up woodworking again, I’m pretty sure that I will not need to buy rasps, because I can use my feet instead. I don’t know what to do!
I’m not really good at caring a whole lot about my body or whatever. I dislike personal maintenance of any sort–I have a buzz cut, I don’t shave for reasons both ideological and laziness related, and I wash my face every night in the shower, by which I mean there’s water running across it, so I figure that it’s pretty clean. I grudgingly get my brows threaded every once in a while, but it always pisses me off to have to do it. So when I say that I don’t know what to do with this foot thing, I mean I really don’t even know where to start.
I have a PedEgg, and it’s amazing, but it takes me about 45 minutes to get both feet to a point where they feel like the feet of a normal person, and the effect lasts for about three days. Within a week, it’s back to square one. Plus, frankly, 45 minutes is a long time to be scrubbing awkwardly at one’s feet–that time could definitely be put to better use.
Lotion helps, but only for an hour or two. Also, I have this texture issue, and I can’t really touch my feet. I realize that it’s a stupid hangup, but whatever. Some people are afraid of needles, I can’t touch my feet without feeling like throwing up. Other people’s feet are fine, but my own? Ick.
Surely there’s something that I can do, right? I can’t apply lotion hourly, but neither can I go on with my feet like this.
Magic pills? Snake oil with a placebo effect? Reassurance that I am not the only person around with hideous, rough feet? Help me, internet, you’re my only hope*!
*Strictly speaking, this is probably not true, but whatever. I will keep you guys posted on important issues such as OMG A YELLOW LEAF and somewhat antiquated methods of food preservation, you will tell me things about how not to have disgusting feet.
um, well I’ve got to say unfortunately it sounds like the Ped Egg is your best bet. I know it takes forever but… maybe if you use both the Ped Egg and the Lotion in one sitting it will last longer. Or (and I know how you will feel about this cause lets face it I feel the same way) wear more socks. if your feet are covered the won’t get all rough and stuff (I know mine are nasty too) mainly cause I elect to run out to my car in bare feet in the morning to move it for Dave. Honestly though I don’t know how to prevent feet grossness. Sorry my comment is absolutely no help whatsoever. :-)
But you’re awful pretty.
I just caught up with your blog! Because GoogleReader has been scary lately–I hate it when it gets to 1000+ plus, like it is saying “f it, I can’t bother to keep track anymore, it’s over a thousand and that’s practically INFINTE BLOG POSTINGS, you delinquent you.”
GoogleReader is freaking judgemental.
Anyway, I use a pumice stone on my feet about once a week and find that that works, but I also only go barefoot on carpet in my apartment and generally am wearing socks. Doing the PedEgg every day might help. I have no use for lotion except in midsummer on my face, so no help there.
Also I would like the recipe for applesauce and pierogis, please.
I’m also going to say lotion, but put on a LOT and then put on socks. Or, even better but weird, put your feet into plastic bags and then socks or sandals or slippers or something. Just for about an hour, to let it soak in. Make Nick put it on your feet if you hate touching them. Also maybe try a foot scrub that you could use in the shower? One of those gritty ones that works like pumice stone? If you rubbed that on your feet every few days while you were in the shower it would help keep them smoother, requiring less time with the Ped Egg.