Apparently there’s this meme, 51 things I found in my room? Or 52 things I found in my house, or something like that. Unfortunately, it involves making a video of yourself with random things and setting said video to quirky music, and let me tell you, my tolerance for that is pretty less than zero.
Instead, I give you a list of nine things I cannot find! Since I cannot find these things, obviously there is no video, and if you feel the need for quirky music, I suggest that you queue up your media player of choice before reading this entry.
- The next gem in Bejeweled. Look. I’m a reasonably smart person, and I cannot for the life of me break 200,000 on Bejeweled Blitz. Actually, I can’t break 170,000, and I’ve only managed it that high once. I have a friend who has 400,000 points. How is that possible? What am I missing? Why does it bother me so much that I’m not better at a stupid, time-wasting game on Facebook, which I hate?
- A tiny bit of gives-a-fuck about Apple’s upcoming tablet. I keep finding blog posts and announcements and pre-announcements and and and, and this is what I do: mark as read, mark as read, close tab, mark as read. Shut up about it already.
- The half-dozen thank-you notes I’d written thanking people for Christmas gifts. I wrote them on my lunch break one day last week, and I know that they didn’t get mailed. Where the hell are they? Somewhere between my office (spartan, relatively uncluttered) and my house (messy at best, full of stuff) they’ve been misplaced. I’m trying to convince myself to man up and rewrite them tomorrow, but I hate having to write things with pens.
- Thing number four. This is actually an ongoing problem–in any list, I stall out around four. Once I’ve got four, I can plow right one, but four gets me every time.
- My stripey green underwear. They’re my favorite underwear, guys, and I have no idea where they are.
- Any knitting needles between 3.25mm and 5mm. That’s a big gap, and I am 100% sure that I have needles in that size range. I just…can’t find them. Anywhere.
- Appropriate photos go to with blog posts. You like how I’m sticking that bit of meta in there? I should stop caring about stupid things like photos and just post. It’s not like this is a photoblog.
- An understanding of why this Prop 8 nonsense has gone to trial. I honestly don’t understand–since when do we let the majority vote on the rights of a minority group? How is this even a question? Bonus thing I can’t find: the stomach to read much of the trial coverage.
- Stupid Jasmine stupid Disney Princess stupid Polly Pocket, stupid stupid stupid. Possibly you’re picking up my frustration with that one. Maura–to my distress–is obsessed with those stupid Disney Princess Polly Pockets. As a reward for two weeks of awesome behavior, I ordered Tiana from Amazon. Jasmine is the only one we’re missing, and I can find her nowhere. I’d just order her from Amazon, too, but the goddamn thing costs THIRTY DOLLARS. For a two-inch-tall doll and three little dresses made out of rubber! Twice as much as all the other ones cost! I am so annoyed by this that I’m reduced to exclamation marks as a way of expressing my anger. Argh.
Hunh! And yet, you managed to only use one exclamation point in number 9!
Aside – Maura is possibly a v. good age [or nearing it rapidly] for my favoritest book of all time – Fly by Night, by Frances Hardinge. GET THIS BOOK. YOU WILL LOVE IT, TOO. Here is my random and unorganized review of Hardinge’s work. I loves her SO MUCH. She’s my favorite author. This comment has taken an abrupt and random turn to the left.
HI MEGHAN. HI.
Excellent! Book added to wishlist for future purchasing. When I win the lottery, I’m going to go and seriously buy every goddamn book I have ever even thought of wanting, and it will be glorious.
I love comments that veer sharply into book reviews.
I do not have your underwear. Do you really use needles that small? I never do. I have them, but I don’t use them. Oh, and I do not require a thank you card. Um, did I give you something? lol And you actually used two exclamation points in #9. Since we’re counting.
This reminds me of a great Bloom County strip where Milo goes to the lost and found searching for his marbles, and his patience etc. I love that strip.
I use needles that small all the time–I have probably a dozen pairs of them between sizes 0 and 3, and they’re used more than anything else that I own. I’ve got a few that are, like, sizes 8, 9, 10, and then I don’t think I have anything larger.
But I only ever knit socks! I am the sock-making queen, and I churn them out like other people make hats or scarves or other attractive and useful items. I recently knit hats using a bulky wool, and it was the thickest yarn I’d ever used!
Also, today I went to the yarn store and bought more yarn, and now I’m going to make more socks!
I am so with you on the Apple tablet. Whenever anyone talks about it I just hear Blah blah blah tablet blah.
Yeah, that’s what I hear. Blah blah no multitasking blah blah no way to fix anything yourself blah blah overpriced blah blah apple fanboys. On the list of do not care, it’s pretty do not care.